The man behind the pain
by pollymed1995
Summary: I understand feeling like an unfinished book, to wait on something or someone. Life is a book with people coming and going. Hearts can break and love can change, just like death can change us.


The man behind the pain

The afternoon was pleasant, as the leaves danced in the wind. A picture perfect moment and I hated it -life wasn't like this.

I entered the Slytherin common room, sat down and just gazed into the fire. That was until I was disturbed by Narcissa.

"You know Lucius will snap at you if he sees you being idle..." I understood that she wasn't saying this out of spite.

"Is he really thinking of joining?" She nodded regretfully.

"He has to; in fact, whether we like it or not, most of us will at some point willingly or through force join him" As Slytherins people automatically think we are destined for bad things, they were right this time.

Lucius arrived, with the other male seventh years trailing behind him. Narcissa, secretly handed me a book, which I had begrudgingly opened, and pretend to have been reading.

"Ladies" he nodded and took a seat at the desk behind Narcissa. Severus nodded to her and took to his usual spot beside me. Everything stopped. We were a family and not even the war could change that, could it?

"What are you planning on doing when we leave Harrison?" The pain i felt must have been evident, for Severus must have realised that, as he began running calming circles on my calf.

"I have a position waiting for me Lucius - and yes before you ask it is a respectable one- an editor at the Daily Prophet" I answered Lucius's worried gaze. Lucius was like the brother I never had and his demanding tone had not scared me in the slightest.

Lucius smirked- the classic 'big brother' smirk and his attention once again passed onto Narcissa. My own had began dancing again within the flames.

"I saw Lilly today, She was with that _bloody_ Potter boy" I turned to see the hurt in his face. I knew long ago that Sev had given his heart too freely...too cheaply. My own face had began to contort with shades of red.

I had sat there quiet, until he could continue.

"He had his arm around her; but worst of all she had given me a _sympathetic _smile, as if to _console_ me when Potter called me some unseen name" his eyes glazed.

"At least it was the last time you would need to see her , Sev" he looked up at me in confusion, "We are going home in the morning" I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Tomorrow cannot come soon enough" he sighed.

**- 5 years later-**

War is looming, people are becoming more apprehensive. I hadn't seen Narcissa since her wedding, although Lucius promises she is ok. Lucius seemed more guarded when he spoke to me. Severus?... All I knew about him was that he took a post at Hogwarts.

I felt the loss of family after leaving Hogwarts- My heart still pined for someone I couldn't have and my life outside of work was near non-existent.

"I need you to go see Dumbledore" said a newly appointed Kingsley "I believe he wishes to talk to you about something, but if anyone asks, you're delivering this letter", he whispered. My small department was under watch, no-one had said anything, you could just feel it.

"Yes sir, I'll go straight away" I nodded and headed for the floo network.

I stumbled into Dumbledore's office.

"Still haven't got used to it then Miss Harrison" I turned to Dumbledore of whom wore a great smile.

"I don't think I ever will sir" I grinned back, and sat in the offered seat "Lemon drop?" I shook my head "Miss Harrison, you are aware that war is looming are you not?"

"Sir, I've known that since before I left school, it's just a matter of when" I had bowed my head.

"And working at the ministry, you should know that they aren't truly in belief of Voldermort's are a few of us, with varied skills and abilities coming together, in aid against the war."Intrigued i looked up. "I would find your skills most useful if you did join us"

I began pacing, war _is_ coming – Ophelia, you know it is.

"Sir, you know that if I do this, I'll have to cut myself off from my friends- Lucius"

"Ophelia, if I may call you that" I nodded mindlessly; I mean what was a name, when there was going to be a war "I wouldn't ask you, if I didn't know your talents would come of some use".

He allowed me what must have been an hour, of pacing and sitting been down.

"Sir, if you feel like I could help, then I will join you" I then had to sign a document protecting the Order, but whilst doing so the office door opened. Startled I turned to see Severus looking from me to Dumbledore.

"What are you asking of her?" if I hadn't seen the angry glint in his eye, I would have mistook this for being protective- a dream Ophelia, _Just_ a dream.

"No offense _Severus_, I haven't heard from you at all since I was 19 and you come in here _now _like you care!" I said shocked at the anger I had built up in his absence.

"You don't understand…" He begged and i would have given in, if I wasn't so angry.

"Because no-one is _explaining _things too me!" seeing he wouldn't be able to change my mind, he took his leave.

"DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME SEVERUS SNAPE!" He turned to me.

"Just go home Ophelia" he carried on walking.

"NO, YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND NOT EXPLAIN- I'M GOING TO HELP IN THE WAR WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT!"

The next few words scared me more than anything.

"WE WILL BE FIGHTING ON DIFFERENT SIDES OPHELIA!" My heart stopped just like it had all those years ago.

"Sev", I caressed his cheek, "What have you done?" he knew I knew, but clarified why.

"She married him, Ophelia. He won!" I saw red.

" You're a _fool_! You've signed away your life!" he just looked away from me. It was at this point I had to tell him, or regret not having the chance.

"Sev, _I LOVED YOU_! I still love you... And every time… you find a way to toy with the knife… I cannot do this anymore" I whispered.

I walked away, I didn't look back, nor did I cry. I knew long ago that Severus Snape had given his heart, and that, wasn't a gift I had recieved.


End file.
